This is the Place (or, my return to the LDS church)


This weekend I attended the LDS church while on a visit to Utah. It was my first time attending a Sacrament Meeting in well over five years. It was my first time taking the sacrament (communion) in much longer than that (because even long before I stopped attending the Mormon church, I couldn’t stomach the symbols of that ordinance). It wasn’t an earth-shaking experience in any way. In fact, it was just the opposite. The hymns were familiar and I sang them with some gusto (much to the chagrin of my seatmates, I’m sure–I do not have a pretty voice). Shaking the Bishop’s hand and meeting the local saints was endearing. I felt no friction in any of those experiences.

That said, I have no intention of returning to activity in the LDS church. But it was nice to know that I could attend and it could be a benign, rather than a frustrating experience. Perhaps that means that I am finally healing from the wounds incurred by my natal faith, and am comfortable with where I’m at now in my life.

8 thoughts on “This is the Place (or, my return to the LDS church)

  1. Dave

    I’m glad you had a nice visit to church. Lovely photo — it almost looks like there are tiny crosses atop the spires.

  2. xJane

    Out of curiosity, what were your problems with “the symbols of that ordinance [of communion]”? (If you previously wrote about this, a link is fine 🙂

    I’m glad for you that you could do that. I still have issues going back to church—although, it was easier recently, when I went to a Latin rite…

  3. Melanie

    I had a very similar experience when I went last year. It was mundane but a strong reminder that in spite of leaving I still retain a strong sense of Mormon peoplehood. There is something about the Church that is still mine.

    1. janaremy Post author

      I didn’t have too much of a sense of ownership–it was more a sense of familiarity. But of course, I wasn’t sitting in a disciplinary council or across the desk from a man in a suit who’s questioning me about my sexuality or my underwear. Sacrament meeting is far more banal than those experiences.

  4. Pingback: sacrament « Jana Remy

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