{"id":11372,"date":"2015-03-10T08:00:56","date_gmt":"2015-03-10T15:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/?p=11372"},"modified":"2015-03-09T15:54:23","modified_gmt":"2015-03-09T22:54:23","slug":"small-list-advice-getting-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2015\/03\/10\/small-list-advice-getting-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"a small list of advice for getting through a divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A few friends have recently asked me for advice about getting through the tough few initial weeks of a divorce.\u00a0 My advice to them, based on what I did well during my first few weeks separated from my then-spouse:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I exercised every single day. This was my obligation to myself because I knew I would have imploded otherwise. I lifted weights\/swam\/yoga&#8217;d\/paddled\/<wbr \/>rock-climbed\/etc.<\/li>\n<li>I surrounded myself with a tribe of supporters that I could call or text at any time of day or night. Most of these friends had been through a <span class=\"il\">divorce<\/span> themselves, so they &#8220;got it.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>I threw myself into meeting new people that had no idea about my <span class=\"il\">divorce<\/span>. I met them online or in cafes or at the gym or at the Huntington (where I was on fellowship at the time).<\/li>\n<li>I re-made my home into a place that I loved, room by room excavating every bit of my ex&#8217;s junk out if my life. I started with the bedroom&#8211;new linens &amp; rearranged the furniture. If something brought bad memories of my marriage, it went into the trash. I only kept the things that I loved and that made me feel good.\u00a0 If there were &#8220;important&#8221; documents that I couldn&#8217;t face in the moment but I also couldn&#8217;t throw away, I put them into a box to deal with later (FWIW, I just barely went through that box and I&#8217;m glad that I waited a few years so I was clear-headed as I made choices about what to keep).<\/li>\n<li>But perhaps most importantly, I kept working.\u00a0 I didn&#8217;t miss a day of being at my desk and in the off-hours I was pounding away at my dissertation.\u00a0 Despite the turmoil in so many aspects of my life, work was a bedrock-constant dependable thing and that kept me well-centered to face everything else.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few friends have recently asked me for advice about getting through the tough few initial weeks of a divorce.\u00a0 My advice to them, based on what I did well during my first few weeks separated from my then-spouse: I exercised every single day. This was my obligation to myself because I knew I would [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>a small list of advice for getting through a divorce - PilgrimSteps<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2015\/03\/10\/small-list-advice-getting-divorce\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"a small list of advice for getting through a divorce - PilgrimSteps\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A few friends have recently asked me for advice about getting through the tough few initial weeks of a divorce.\u00a0 My advice to them, based on what I did well during my first few weeks separated from my then-spouse: I exercised every single day. 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