{"id":2724,"date":"2011-03-10T17:30:30","date_gmt":"2011-03-11T01:30:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/janaremy.com\/?p=2724"},"modified":"2011-03-10T17:30:30","modified_gmt":"2011-03-11T01:30:30","slug":"let-me-count-the-ways","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/","title":{"rendered":"let me count the ways…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mornings,<\/a><\/p>\n

Many people have asked me whether I’ll return to the Mormon church now that John isn’t in my life (this probably stems from the assumption made by many people that I only left the church to please John–which is wrong on so many counts, including the one where he recently blamed me<\/em> for pushing our family out of the church too quickly when I was finally done with it)…<\/p>\n

So this morning (a typical morning) I thought it would be an interesting exercise to count all of the ways I violated Mormon commandments before I even got into the office.\u00a0 Because I don’t live a Mormon lifestyle or even make any pretense of doing so:<\/p>\n

1) I awoke wearing a tank top and short-shorts, and proceeded to bare my shoulders and thighs<\/a> all morning long to anyone who happened to be looking through my windows.<\/p>\n

2) At various times I entertained\u00a0 four<\/span> five<\/span> fifteen<\/span> several lewd thoughts<\/a>.<\/p>\n

3) As per my morning ritual, I brewed myself some coffee and drank<\/a> two cups full, while basking in the sunshine on my living room rug (in immodest clothing, see #1) and doing yoga.<\/p>\n

4) When I got dressed for work I put on a bra (next to my skin<\/a>), underpants, and a sleeveless shirt (see #1), in addition to pants, socks and shoes.<\/p>\n

5) I got a favorite bottle of wine<\/a> out of the cupboard and licked it. (since I don’t drink in the mornings. Sheesh–just how depraved to think I am?).<\/p>\n

6) Upon receiving a humorous text message from a friend, I burst out into laughter<\/a>.<\/p>\n

7) After my shower, I rubbed some lotion on to my new tattoo<\/a>.<\/p>\n

8) Although I abstained from drinking any morning tea, I did throw a new box of black tea into my purse to take to work for drinking later in the day.<\/p>\n

9) While driving through some heinous traffic, I sang along to a song on the radio that had the dirty words omitted, but I sang them out loud anyways<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many people have asked me whether I’ll return to the Mormon church now that John isn’t in my life (this probably stems from the assumption made by many people that I only left the church to please John–which is wrong on so many counts, including the one where he recently blamed me for pushing our […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4851,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2724","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-deep-thoughts","category-lds"],"yoast_head":"\nlet me count the ways... - PilgrimSteps<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"let me count the ways... - PilgrimSteps\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many people have asked me whether I’ll return to the Mormon church now that John isn’t in my life (this probably stems from the assumption made by many people that I only left the church to please John–which is wrong on so many counts, including the one where he recently blamed me for pushing our […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"PilgrimSteps\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-03-11T01:30:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"janaremy@gmail.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"janaremy@gmail.com\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"janaremy@gmail.com\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/48edf1696489416085bd652eed4f53c9\"},\"headline\":\"let me count the ways…\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-03-11T01:30:30+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":336,\"commentCount\":18,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"articleSection\":[\"deep thoughts\",\"LDS\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/\",\"name\":\"let me count the ways... - PilgrimSteps\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-03-11T01:30:30+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/48edf1696489416085bd652eed4f53c9\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/2011\\\/03\\\/10\\\/let-me-count-the-ways\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"\",\"contentUrl\":\"\"},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/\",\"name\":\"PilgrimSteps\",\"description\":\"just one step at a time...\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/48edf1696489416085bd652eed4f53c9\",\"name\":\"janaremy@gmail.com\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/35f18ee12c735a8a3991a37577421947880e6460a50cea12cd788c1a5707c3b7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/35f18ee12c735a8a3991a37577421947880e6460a50cea12cd788c1a5707c3b7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/35f18ee12c735a8a3991a37577421947880e6460a50cea12cd788c1a5707c3b7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"janaremy@gmail.com\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janaremy.com\\\/pilgrimsteps\\\/author\\\/janaremygmail-com\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"let me count the ways... - PilgrimSteps","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"let me count the ways... - PilgrimSteps","og_description":"Many people have asked me whether I’ll return to the Mormon church now that John isn’t in my life (this probably stems from the assumption made by many people that I only left the church to please John–which is wrong on so many counts, including the one where he recently blamed me for pushing our […]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/","og_site_name":"PilgrimSteps","article_published_time":"2011-03-11T01:30:30+00:00","author":"janaremy@gmail.com","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"janaremy@gmail.com","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/"},"author":{"name":"janaremy@gmail.com","@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/#\/schema\/person\/48edf1696489416085bd652eed4f53c9"},"headline":"let me count the ways…","datePublished":"2011-03-11T01:30:30+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/"},"wordCount":336,"commentCount":18,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","articleSection":["deep thoughts","LDS"],"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/","url":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/","name":"let me count the ways... - PilgrimSteps","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","datePublished":"2011-03-11T01:30:30+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/#\/schema\/person\/48edf1696489416085bd652eed4f53c9"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/2011\/03\/10\/let-me-count-the-ways\/#primaryimage","url":"","contentUrl":""},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/","name":"PilgrimSteps","description":"just one step at a time...","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/#\/schema\/person\/48edf1696489416085bd652eed4f53c9","name":"janaremy@gmail.com","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/35f18ee12c735a8a3991a37577421947880e6460a50cea12cd788c1a5707c3b7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/35f18ee12c735a8a3991a37577421947880e6460a50cea12cd788c1a5707c3b7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/35f18ee12c735a8a3991a37577421947880e6460a50cea12cd788c1a5707c3b7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"janaremy@gmail.com"},"url":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/author\/janaremygmail-com\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2724","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2724"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2724\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.janaremy.com\/pilgrimsteps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}