| You scored as Postmodernist. Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation. You see the universe as a collection of information with varying ways of putting it together. There is no absolute truth for you; even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation. Meaning relies on context and even the language you use to describe things should be subject to analysis. |
What is Your World View?
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I had a conflict yesterday with someone who I greatly respect. The altercation left me feeling defensive and angry. In my mind I wanted to think of ways to reliate, to get even. I wanted to put all of the blame on her shoulders.
But I’m also, right now, trying to cultivate a greater feeling of ahimsa. I want to live my life in such a way that my friends/acquaintances will trust me and feel safe with me. I want to respond with kindness instead of anger.
So when I prayed/meditated this morning I tried to let go of the frustration that was roiling around inside of me. And, I think, when I had to respond to this same person this morning, it went much better.
🙂
Yep, I’m a hypocrite.
As John said at dinner tonite, “Jana, you are the strangest vegetarian I’ve ever known.”
He said that over a meal of pork tenderloin (that had simmered all day long in our crockpot and was so moist it was almost impossible to serve). For whatever reason I’d decided that I wanted to have pork tenderloin for dinner. Which is particularly odd because I have never, to my knowledge, even so much as tasted pork tenderloin before.
But when I was searching the web for crockpot recipes I came across one that was pork tenderloin simmered in a balsamic vinegar/Dijon sauce that made my mouth water. So that’s why I added it to the weekly menu.
I wish I could’ve seen John’s face when he was standing at the grocery store and saw the 15th item on my list was a tenderloin roast [John does the grocery shopping each Saturday]. This, after buying such things as “chick’n”, meatless burgers, riblets, etc. He said he was pretty confused.
But, as I explained to John, I’m losing some of my orthodoxy. I like that I can say I’m vegetarian so no one will feel bad if I turn up my nose at _their_ meat. But I also want the freedom to choose to eat meat when I want to—on my own terms.
Yes, I know I’m a hypocrite. Yes, I’m sure the toes of all those true vegetarians out there are curling right now. And I’m sorry if you are offended, shocked, or disappointed in me.
But, in case you were wondering, the meat tasted wonderful.
–1/3 c. Irish Steel-Cut Oats, cook (the kind that come in a can and take half an hour to cook)
–1/3 c. Trader Joe’s lowfat organic vanilla yogurt (yah, it’d probably be tastier w/creamline, but I’ve gotta watch the calories)
–one peeled, diced, fresh peach (a nectarine will do, too)
–a handful of sliced almonds
–a splash of Cannon vanilla (top secret family recipe that involves vanilla beans imported from Tahiti that ferment in dark bottles in the back of the spice cupboard)
–a dash of hand-grated nutmeg
Stir.
Throw your head back and chew in ecstasy.
If you’re really lucky–like I was this morning–you will get a shoulder massage while eating. If so, make deep sighs of satisfaction and swear to start every morning just the same way.
🙂
PS: If you’re eating this for dessert, as I am wont to do, you can increase the vanilla splash to a TB or 2….
Joined the union today. First time ever. It was a fairly interesting process–to have the UAW folks come and explain what they can do for me.
Makes me feel manly–a take-a-metal-lunchbox-to-work kind of manly–now that I’m a proud member of United Auto Workers Local No. 2685.
I’m sitting here naked at kitchen table typing away.
Well… not really.
[Rather, I’m wearing my favorite black t-shirt & jeans, and licking the BBQ sauce off of my fingers from the very fine riblet sandwich I just ate for lunch–YUM]
On my first-ever blog (at enivri.com), my first post was about being naked, about revealing the ‘inner me’ to anyone who wanted to read. But honestly, that first blog wasn’t very interesting and didn’t get read very often so I stopped paying for the domain name after a few months.
Though I don’t pretend that this blog is all that much better than my first one, I’ve had lots more ‘hits’ and have recently discovered that several old friends read my blog. In a way it’s flattering to have a bevy of readers. But I’m also nervous to have all my wierd moles and warts showing. And all of those scars that you can’t see when I’m wearing clothes–those are showing, too.
A few weeks ago the kids and spent some time at my Mom’s house. One of the highlights of visiting Mom is swiming in her pool. The kids leap right in, get out all of the ‘noodles’ and have a blast swimming around.
Swimming in Mom’s pool brings back lots of memories. Back in my high school days I spent a lot of time swimming: either I was relieving stress, working on my tan, or conditioning for the swim team. Back then, my favorite way to get in the pool was to dive head-first into the deep end.
But now I just can’t bring myself to leap in. I slowly immerse my body, inch-by-inch. It’s not unusual for it to take me 30 minutes to get my whole body under. I just hate the way the cold water feels and I can’t force myself in any faster.
As I was slowly getting wet on the last day at Mom’s house it dawned on me that this must be part of getting old. No longer do I leap into the unknown headfirst, ready for the thrill and shock of the cold water. Instead, I am cautious and slow–I’m only willing to tolerate the littlest bit of discomfort and to take small risks.
I’ve spent most of today emptying the contents of my nose into kleenexes. Now, after a whole day of this my nose is so raw that even the lotion-y kleenexes hurt. And now the cough is starting–that ubiquitous throat tickle that keeps me feeling as if a small rodent is sitting in the back of my throat and preventing me from swallowing. I think that some rodent is storing acorns in my glands because they are so swollen and sore.
Today I wanted to lie in bed and drink broth. Instead I cleaned house, ran errands, and ferried the kids around. Here’s hoping that tomorrow is a better, rodent-free, day.
PS: Today the kids wrote their due-the-first-day-of-school essays. They are priceless. C’s is called “Portland” and discusses the colorful details of our summer trip (including voodoo donuts and the various odors of our hotel rooms). E’s is called “Adventures with Aunt Susan” [can I just say one more time that every kid needs an Aunt Susan who has a trampoline and a dog named Pete and a boy named Chris and lots of time for adventures]. I will post the essays soon.
Last week my checking account was “compromised.” This basically means that someone stole my debit card number and stared buying all kinds of things via the internet. They spent money in Arizona, in Indiana, Florida, Louisiana, etc.
Fortunately my bank caught on pretty quickly since I rarely make large internet transactions. They called me and we put a ‘stop’ on my card. But this morning I’ve got to start the tedious process of disputing the charges that this thief made. I’ve got to sort out my transactions from his so we can put my balance back in the black. What a pain.
The first day that it happened I racked my brain to figure out who or how could have done this to me. Was it the gas station attendant who had to run my card through two times and in the process copied down the number? Was it an internet hacker? Has someone infiltrated my home computer? Did I forgot to shred some bank statements? I was going crazy running different scenarios through my mind.
Now I’m feeling rather matter-of-fact about it. I’ve talked with the bank, worked through the various ‘procedures,’ and I’m resigned to the inconvenience of the theft. But a part of me is also frustrated because I don’t want this to happen again and yet I have no idea how to prevent it.
Here are two links that’ll give you a boost:
iloveegg
ringtonedancer
[warning: they are both loud]