Category Archives: family

of stories, homes, and true gifts

Everything in my house has a story. Just casting around a quick glance and I see our dining table chairs that I reupholstered with fabric from my friend Carole who loved cats and was also a nontraditional PhD student (I miss seeing her smile), some tealight holders that were a housewarming gift from Amy and that glow the warmest orange color, and the red oriental rug that culminated from a dumpster-diving adventure with my kids. Even the kitty who is napping on her cat tower by the window has a hand-me-down story.

It means so much to me to surround myself with these stories–much like the satisfaction that I get from the many bookcases that line our walls.

So when I read this quote on a favorite blog this morning, it resonated with me because of a very special gift that I received last night:

From Christopher Alexander’s book, A Pattern Language:
“Decor” and the concept of “interior design” have spread so widely, that very often people forget their instinct for the things they really want to keep around them… It is…fascinating to come into a room which is the living expression of a person, or a group of people, so that you can see their lives, their histories, their inclinations, displayed in manifest form around the walls, in the furniture, on the shelves. Do not be tricked into believing that modern decor must be.. anything that current taste-makers claim. It is most beautiful when it comes straight from your life–the things you care for, the things that tell your story.

Yesterday John and CatGirl were up to some kind of mischievous project that they kept just out of my line of sight. What they did was take a handful of the colorful flower prints from my flickr page and mount them on a wire suspended from one end of the room to the other–creating a kind of floating line of photos above our bookshelves. Each of the pictures they carefully mounted on black cardstock. After explaining to me how the photos could be easily rotated and changed, John said:

“It’s our way of bringing your garden to you.”

more memories


at disneyland, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I love the energy of this picture. I’m not a huge fan of Disneyland, but when I’m there I have a lot of fun!

GameBoy was probably in 1st or 2nd grade in this picture and now he’s in high school. Time does fly (as do elephants, too)…

🙂

down memory lane


from the archive:at cousin Jared’s wedding, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

This afternoon I borrowed a ZIP drive from a friend and recovered a slew of old pics and files from several years ago. Here’s a pic of our family somewhere around the year 2000 while we were at a cousin’s wedding.

today


like velcro, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Today I woke feeling like wearing a long swishy skirt and burning candles on the back porch while reading poetry.

But…

I have to work two shifts in concessions at GameBoy’s swim meet (for the next 4 hours) and then grade 40 midterms. And we won’t even talk about the household stuff that needs doing (laundry, laundry, and more laundry).

Sigh.

making memories


In 50 years from now, you know what we’ll remember best from Suz’s wedding? The moment when the sprinklers turned on as we were taking pictures and I was the one who ended up taking the hit while her wedding dress stayed unspoiled and dry.

🙂

(Photo by John)

for the fairies


her archway, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Catgirl continues to amaze me. This is what she was doing yesterday while I was dreaming of roses.

She bought two of the plants and the others she dug up from various places around our neighborhood. Her creativity and vision are so inspiring.

the landscape

memory lane


Our first home in SLC, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Our first home in Salt Lake City (on Williams Ave near Liberty Park). I mowed the lawn each week with GameBoy riding on my back. Then we would lay in the grass under the trees and find pictures in the clouds. We made friends with the ubiquitous box elder beetles and watched lightning storms from the front porch while our neighbor serenaded us on his guitar.

Done!


Sunset Reverie, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

[Note: this picture has nothing at all to do with this post–I just wanted to share it with you because it shows both CatGirl’s loveliness and John’s skill with his camera. It just sort of takes my breath away to see such beauty….]

Allright, so today I did something truly scary….I went to the doctor. I had a follow-up for my leg (healing well, thank you) and I simultaneously scheduled my “well-woman” checkup. It’s probably been at least 5 years since I’ve been in those stirrups. So my big New Year’s resolution for 2008 was to get that done. Well, it’s not even the end of May yet and I accomplished it. Whew.

I don’t know why it’s such a hurdle for me. I really had nothing that I was particularly worried about. It’s just that whole doctor thing….(bleh)

Tomorrow is the 24th anniversary of the day I was diagnosed with bone cancer, which usually ends up being a kind of a downer day for me. Not this year. I think I’ll celebrate instead. It’s such a thrill to still be kickin’ it every day with you groovy people.

🙂

locket


locket, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

This locket was my Mother’s Day gift from the kids and John. It has pictures of both of my babies inside. I love the flower detailing on the outside of the locket and the mini flowers that dangle from the chain at the top. A treasure, indeed.

which part is mine?

small and purple
Today as I sat in silence, an old song was running through my mind. It’s a ballad by LDS songwriter Michael McLean and each verse portrays a stage of a women’s life and has her perplexed by her role in her various relationships–with friends, spouse, children and spiritual journey. The refrain asks “Which part is mine and which part is yours?”

I thought about this song as I pondered my various relationships. I wondered, for example, about my children’s growing autonomy. At what point do I intervene and help them to solve their problems and when do I let them learn their own lessons? How much do I hover? When it is better to let them strike out on their own? How can I affirm my love without stifling them or breaking their will? And are there moments when I am too aloof, too absorbed in my own projects?

I thought about it in terms of my relationship with John. I considered the significant investment I have in him and how difficult it is for me when, like this last week, he is out of town. And I wonder what the best balance is between absorbing myself in him and pursuing my own goals & desires? I considered those moments when my being self-focused weakens our relationship. Yet I also think that, in many ways, I can only be a good partner when I have a strong self to offer. Which part is mine and which part is his, indeed?

This line of thought also has resonance with my involvement in the larger community of Friends. For the past two years I’ve mostly been a recipient–indulging in the efforts of others’ planning, sharing, and ministry. This has been a necessary time to nourish my wounded soul. Accepting the care of others has allowed me space and time for healing. I wonder, though, if it isn’t my turn to serve? As I sat in Meeting today and acknowledged each person in the circle I realized that I have much to give. I am no longer the girl in corner who is constantly on the verge of tears, who has no voice to speak in Meeting. Perhaps ironically, this brings to mind some words from my patriarchal blessing, an admonishment to “move with confidence because there are many who look to you as an example and who will receive encouragement from you through your example.” I am starting to feel that it is “my part” to become more active in the Meeting community. Perhaps it is time to return some of what I have received.