Category Archives: family

I prayed to know if I should marry John


wedding day, 1992 .

Another post in the series about my relationship with John. You can find earlier entries here and here.

When John and I were courting, I prayed to know if he was the right spouse for me. I knew that I loved him like I’d never loved another, I knew that I was super-attracted to him, and I could think of nothing better than the possibility of spending forever with him.

A part of me really didn’t want to pray about whether or not to marry John. Because I knew if the answer from God was “no”, well, I’d probably go ahead and do it anyways because I was so head over heels in love.

(Note: I don’t think I’ve ever told this to John, at least I can’t remember if I ever have)

When I prayed about it I had many warm feelings. I felt sure that God wanted me to be happy and also that he blessed our union. However, there was one caveat to the response: I kept thinking of the choice that John made at age 18 to join the LDS church. He’d willingly disobeyed his parents and was completely disowned from them for his choice. Of course I, as a devout Mormon, felt that John had done right in choosing the church over his family. Yet as I prayed to know if I should marry John I realized that John had already demonstrated a willingness to sacrifice relationships for the sake of his ideals. And that scared me. I thought of John someday leaving the church and I acknowledged this as a very real possibility. Although there was nothing in John’s behavior or in his testimony that led me to think that he would leave the church someday, perhaps even then I was seeing this in our future.

Six things I learned from going to the beach on Christmas


gameboy at sunset
Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

1) Going to the beach on Christmas is not a novel idea. Big Corona Beach was more crowded than in the height of the summer. With LOTS of tourists. Bleh.
2) Heading down PCH a ways to Crystal Cove State Park is a much better choice. Plus they don’t have a ranger charging $10/car on Christmas Day. Cool.
3) The downside of CCSP: the 1/2 mile hike, mostly downhill, through nature to get to the beach. I was on crutches because my new prosthesis isn’t yet completed. Yah. So 1/2 mile (each way) on the armpits is pretty raw (though it’s a fine way of working off the Christmas calories)…
4) The water is just was just as cold/warm on Christmas as it was in mid-summer. Lovely. Just lovely.
5) Hiking back to the car just as the sun was dropping out of sight on the horizon. The native desert-y plants all around us exuding the most lovely scent–like cinnamon and vanilla and lemon. Wow. Unlike anything I’ve smelled before.
6) We’ve got to do this again next year. And the next. And the next.

Click on the photo above to see more pics from our beach day.

geek overload

So what’s a girl to do when the other three members of her family decide that the very coolest way to spend the Saturday before Christmas is to hook up a projector to a DVD player and watch all three episodes of The Lord of the Rings back-to-back?

And can I just say how mystified I am that they were all THRILLED by the prospect of more than 11 hours of staring into Frodo’s freaky blue eyes? Yah.

I was done after about an hour. Because I know how it ends. And that’s enough for me. No need to re-hash the entire fate of the universe nor re-fight the battle with Sauron. 🙂

how the UPS man ruined Christmas

Setting: evening at our house. The front door is open because it’s stuffy inside the house from cooking dinner. GameBoy and CatGirl are sitting at their desk in the living room working on their homework. Christmas carols are playing on the stereo. Our brightly lit Christmas tree is visible from the front doorway. A guy in a brown uniform is walking up the pathway to our place.

UPS Guy: Ma’am? Your package broke open in the truck, the tape is undone on one side now. Can I bring it on in for you? It’s really big…

Me: Sure, put it right here in front of the bookcase.

UPS Guy: Someone’s sure lucky to be getting a —–.

Me: Shhhhh….(gesturing wildly towards the kids)

A deep intake of breath from one of the kids, a squeal of delight from the other.

UPS Guy: Uh oh.

can’t. stop. posting. today….

A meme from alisonwonderland:
I’m tagging everyone on this one–answer either in the comments or on your blogs (but please do leave a comment here if you reply to the meme):
Tanya, John, JohnW, Caroline, Margi, Amy, Deborah, Brooke, Christi, Seymour, Dora, BIV, Lorell, RyanH, Elise, and the rest of you readers out there… 🙂

1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Umm…tea. Duh.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just put them under the tree? Wraps them. He used to wait until Christmas Eve for them to appear. But this year they appeared about Dec 1st.

3. Colored lights on the tree, or white? White.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I wish. Anyone have some for me?

5. When do you put your decorations up? I aim for T-Day weekend, but it’s usually later than that.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? John‘s clam dip, Mom’s rolls, yams, and rotkohl.

7. What’s a favorite holiday memory from your childhood? Hmmm…maybe this goofy little Santa play that my big sis and I wrote and acted out when we were about 8&9 years old. I was Santa–wearing my bright red Danskin turtleneck and pants. And Becky dressed up as a reindeer in her brown velveteen jumper (with a lipstick-red nose)

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don’t remember. As far back as I can recall Mom was puting the gifts under the tree.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? With homemade ornaments, origami cranes, paper flags from all the countries that we’ve visited, and a slew of applesauce-cinnamon ornaments to make everything smell yummy.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? Love visiting it. Dread living in it

12. Can you ice skate? Not anymore.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Every year I had a different favorite.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? Tradition and family time.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Just about anything pumpkin-ish.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Saving up the Halloween candy for making gingerbread house-ish creations (just you wait, I’m already planning the AVCT 3.0 gingerbread extravaganza this weekend–anyone wanna join in the fun??). Also, handmade Christmas gifts for my sibs.

17. What tops your tree? A big golden bow. Someday I want something better, but the right topper just hasn’t found me yet.

18. Which do you prefer – giving or receiving? I love it all as long as neither is too excessive.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I really love Sting’s “Gabriel’s Message.” I also love Harry Connick Jr and Amy Grant’s Christmas Albums–I can belt out every song! My favorite Christmas hymns are “Far, Far Away on Judea’s Plains” and “O Little Town of Bethlehem.”

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or yum? Pretty yucky, IMO. I don’t like sucking on sugary candy because it makes my mouth feel all sticky and yucky inside. That said, though, I’m a sucker for anything toffee-ish.

bestest part of the day

As the time nears each afternoon that Catgirl and GameBoy will come home from school. Watching the clock. The anticipation. Then the build-up of sound, like jet engines revving up, as their roller backpack wheels grind up the front walk.

Then the moment of seeing sweet faces pressed up against the screen door mesh. My cheer from across the room, so loud:

“Woohoo, you’re home from school. Hey everyone, you’re home!”

Their impish smiles, ear to ear, as they step across the threshold. 🙂

update: toby


After hiding under various beds most of the day (post-vet trauma, no doubt), TobyJoy is back to her usual rascally self. As if to say that yes, now that it is midnite she is ready to play and why is everyone else so dang tired and uncooperative?

I, for one, am thrilled to have my lapkitty back in action again. It’s just not as fun to type on my laptop w/o her little motor purring as she curls up on my right hip and rubs against my forearm. 🙂

a needle-not-in-a-haystack


Two days ago John found TobyJoy munching on a length of thread. He pulled what he could out of her mouth, administered some medicine to smooth things through her intestines, and hoped for the best.

After about 24 hours of throwing up and gagging and general malaise (not eating or drinking, hiding from us, and mewing pathetically), we took Toby into the vet for a checkup. Our vet gingerly examined Toby’s jaw and throat and then called me over to see the three-inch needle wedged into the roof of her mouth and running down the back of her throat. So at that moment I proceeded to have an emotional meltdown. One team of vet personnel comforted me (keeping me from swooning right then and there) while the others prepped Toby for an extraction procedure.

Within an hour Toby was waking up from the sedative and the vet pronounced all well as she handed me the needle in a vial.

Sigh. Another item on my gratitude list: I’m so glad that the needle didn’t go past Toby’s throat, and that we have such a capable and kind veterinary friends.