Category Archives: friends

thank you from Huang Meihua


Huang Meihua, the 12 year-old girl who was the recipient of my birthday wish donations, sent this thank you note to me and to all of those who contributed. Our money was wired to her family this week, for her ongoing medical care (and specifically for those prosthetic legs that she needs).

Friends, you are WONDERFUL.

A note for you:

I’m Brecken, the director of HandReach — the one who got to actually collect the money that Jana raised for her birthday wish to Meihua, the 12-year-old in China whose legs had been amputated in the Sichuan earthquake. We wired the money Jana raised to Meihua’s family about a week ago, and our coordinator in China told Meihua how “Auntie Jana” had raised this money in honor of her own birthday. Meihua said she was very touched and inspired by Jana’s big heart, thinking of others instead of just thinking about her own life. She said she hopes to grow up to be a woman like Jana someday and help children who need it. I’ll be meeting Meihua personally in a couple of weeks, and will look forward to sharing the photos of Meihua’s new prosthetic legs with Jana and all of her wonderful friends!

A FaceBook & Social Media Success Story

As my birthday neared last month I received an email from the Facebook “Causes” application, suggesting that I could put a Birthday Wish on my FB page to gather donations for a favorite charity in lieu of birthday gifts. At first I was reluctant to participate. I tend to dislike FB apps and I don’t want to annoy my FB friends with frivolous emails or requests. However, I let the idea gel for a few days and then decided that it might be worth fundraising for HandReach, a non-profit that provides and education and medical care for children in China. When my friend Brecken (who works for HandReach) visited a few weeks ago I felt drawn to her stories of the children who were severely burned or disabled and were in need of prosthetics to replace missing limbs.

So I decided to jump in and do it, despite my initial hesitancy. As I logged onto the application it gave me many options for my “wish,” including setting a suggested donation amount ($38 because I was turning 38 years old), sending out individual messages to each of my FB friends, letting the application take over my status messages for the duration of the fundraising, and setting a reasonable campaign goal (I chose $380 thinking that maybe 10 of my friends might want to contribute).

What ensued blew me away.

I met my $380 goal within a few hours, then upped it to $600 and met that quickly, too. I then set the seemingly unreachable goal of $1000 and met that long before my actual birthday. What an amazing experience it was to see the donations and well-wishes pouring in from friends near and far.

Words aren’t enough to tell you how much joy it brought to be a part of this campaign and to experience the goodness and generosity of my friends. And I’d call this a tremendous success story for the potential of social media. While I think Facebook and Twitter can be huge time-wasters, they also have HUGE potential for connecting groups of likeminded people for doing good. We saw this with the impact of social media on the last election and I’m sure that we will continue to see its ripple effects in the months and years to come. It’s invigorating (even seductive) to participate in these forms of media and to get a feel for their immediacy and power.

After the hoopla of my Birthday Wish was over, one of the developers of the Causes application contacted me about the success of my fundraising efforts. From her I learned that my Wish had earned more funding than most, and they wanted learn why I was so successful. In a nutshell, these were my thoughts:

I picked this particular organization because they give money for medical care to amputees in China–I am an amputee myself so this is a Cause that I’m passionate about and that most of my friends have sympathy for through my experiences. My advice to those who are considering a Birthday Wish is to choose an organization that reflects your own experiences and interests–so your friends will feel invested in supporting your Cause.

One reason I believe I received so many donations is that I not only had FB announcing my Cause, but I also did daily blogposts leading up to my birthday about my Wish, I tweeted the link daily, which was ‘re-tweeted’ by some friends.

I found myself incredibly satisfied with the overall functionality of the Causes application and would encourage each of you to consider a Birthday Wish campaign. I look forward to seeing what Cause would motivate you to forgo birthday presents, and wish the developers of this application the best of luck in their efforts in using Facebook for such positive ends.

just the two of us


post-concert Japanese food–YUM!, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Being the highly social creatures that John and I are, we tend to do LOTS OF STUFF with friends. For example, when we drop by the pub we tend to do a shout-out to the local crowd, when there’s a cultural event happening we invite along other artsy folks, when we travel we plan meetups with all of favorite farflung peeps, and when we have a free evening, there’s always something to celebrate at chez Remy. (ok, and even our anniversary trip to Boston two years ago–we either stayed with or metup with friends nearly every bit of the way…)

Oy.

We’ve decided it’s time to carve out some space for just the two of us and we’re brainstorming what that might look like…another trip together, perhaps (both Boston and Toronto are enticing us)? A weekly John/Jana datenight? A regular lunchtime meetup?

How do you create space for you and your partner in the midst of a busy and friend-filled life?

signed by AFP


Amanda Palmer signs my foot at secret Los Angeles show, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Had a spontaneous meetup with rockstarAmanda Palmer this afternoon (at an intimate local venue after she twittered an invitation)…

The whole experience echoed my previous experience with Amanda, but this was far more relaxed and unscripted. We stood at her feet as she played and sang, we all sat around and chatted on some couches during and after her interview with the “After Ellen” show (the episode will air in 2 weeks, we were told).

In all, it was a successful social media experience. A rockstar throws out the invitation for a meetup and John & I decided it was worth the adventure so we went.

I had her sign my prosthetic foot, so she’s officially the first artist to take up the call to decorate my leg. She hardly batted an eye when I suggested that she sign my foot and everyone around us thought it an uber-cool idea. The picture didn’t turn out so well, but that’s what happens with spontaneity, I suppose.

🙂

PS: Amanda hugged everyone afterwards as if she were our best friend. I was a bit surprised by the familiarity at first and then just enjoyed it. It must be quite a skill to be able to treat your fans as if each one was someone that you care deeply about. Undoubtedly that is her gift–when she sings it’s as if it is just you and her, and that carries through in her post-performance affability.

UPDATE: John’s pic of my foot is so much better than my feeble effort…


It’s a rare thing to meet a kindred spirit, much less one whose body is so akin to my own and who knows the terrain of cancer even better than I.

Sara, when I think of you I remember our adventure-filled days together, your amazing baked goods, your love for all things cat (especially that wily Sam-kitty), your persistence at living by your conscience, your cozy book-filled home with its crazy slope-y wooden floors and our sharing a rich dark brew while gazing out over your garden. And of course, paddling together down the Concord river last fall when the leaves were turning and the sun was so bright that it made my eyes water…just as they are now, upon learning of your death.

You were beautiful and good and real. Thank you for sharing your self with me.

Picture of Sara and me on the banks of Walden Pond, Fall 2007

the gauntlet


Quality Time., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Taking oral exams in grad school is really a terrible experience. Even if you pass, it’s absolutely emotionally draining and it’s nearly impossible to do as well as you’d hoped..

Our friend M took her Quals recently (and passed, of course!!) and then came over to our place that evening to decompress. The picture above shows her curled up with a purry Bobette-kitty, letting the anxiety of the day drain away.

Isn’t it great how cats and friends and cozy purple couch can make it all better?

kid magic


Hansel and Gretel invite a flash mob to the witch’s house., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

S brought a gingerbread house to our party and let all of the kids line up and dig in–eating the house piece by piece (the pic above shows the kids queued up here to take turns). By the end of the party, it looked like this.

[Note: pics by John]

And the winner is….

I put all of your names in my magic blue bowl (note the recycled paper…):

names in the bowl

And stirred it around and picked one:

the winner

But there are two winners for this context, Bonzai (the name I picked from the bowl) and Sarah Rose Evans, because I liked her name suggestion the best. FYI, my camera is now “Frieda,” named for artist Frieda Frida Kahlo.

For the winners: please email me (phddillyATyahoodotcom) with the flickr URL of my photo that you want printed and a shipping address for me to send it to you!

For those of you who didn’t win…another blog giveaway coming VERY SOON!

If this is you (the soup brigade edition)…


today’s rose, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

If you had an email message informing you that the “soup brigade” was headed to your house tonight, then you would have heard a knock on your door at about 5pm to find K. standing there with a bevy of bags and bins. She then came in and proceeded to mix up a large pot of homemade chicken vegetable soup (free range organic, of course, with veggies all from a local farm) and giggle with you as you got caught up on the last six months of life. Then at 6:30 another knock at the door brought more friends laden with fruits, dessert, and drinks to join in the fun.

Because if this is you, you might not be at all surprised when these friends made you laugh, fed you amazingly healing food, and then washed every dish and left your kitchen sparkling clean. Because you have the most amazing friends.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a visit from the soup brigade yourself, but if you have, maybe you are feeling like me right now–eager to get well so you can bring the brigade to the doorstep of someone else soon! 🙂

Note: the flower pic above is from my visit to my garden yesterday morning. My neighbors took such amazing care to keep my plants watered and fertilized during my convalescence. Maintaining my garden is a huge job. I’m not sure how I will ever repay their kindnesses.