Category Archives: LDS

Make me smile…

–John and C are in the next room over, where C is having a lesson from his Dad on how to tie a tie. They are giggling and working through the process together (while looking at a diagram of different knots)

–All of this is in preparation for C’s ordination today. At 12 years of age Mormon boys go through a rite that is somewhat akin to a bar mitzvah. C will be called up to the front of the church meeting and be asked to recite an Article of Faith from memory. He will officially graduate from the Children’s Meeting (Primary), and after church he will be ordained to the introductory level of the LDS Aaronic priesthood by John.

I’ll post a picture soon 🙂

flashback

The other day my Mom handed some xeroxed pages to me, saying she’d been going through the boxes in the garage.

I looked down and saw two articles about cancer of the pancreas. Articles I’d found in my research in the Science Library at UCI. I was 8 months pregnant with C when Dad was diagnosed, and just 3 months away from graduating with a biology degree. Dad has asked me to do some research for him. To find the best treatment because his doctor hadn’t given him much hope.

I’d spent the day poring over medical books. I found one surgeon’s name that kept appearing over and over again. I told Dad I thought his best hope was with this “A.R. Moossa” that was doing a cutting-edge surgery with some promising survival rates. The articles I held in my hands were written by Dr. Moossa. It was a few days later that we learned that Dr. Moossa had recently taken a position in San Diego. And within a few days of that Dad was on his way down for a consultation.

I like the notes I wrote in the margins of the articles. My printing is strong and clear, nothing like the lopsided and illegible chickenscratching that I now produce.

I wrote–
Dad:
I feel very encouraged that your hopes are high. I think that this surgery will be hard–it’s very involved, but it seems to me that it will give you a fighting chance.
I would really like to talk to you after you read these articles to see how you feel about the surgery. Also, I’ll be happy to answer any questions (if I can!). I am praying very hard that you can find the best surgeon or treatment.
No matter what the future holds, I will always be thankful to you for being such a great Dad & I feel peace in knowing that we have a forever family.
I love you Dad.
Jana

I never met Dr. Moossa. Because of my high-risk pregnancy, I didn’t dare travel far from Irvine. But Dad and Mom stopped by my place as they were driving down I-405 to SD. Dad had the surgery. He was still receovering on the night that I gave birth. I called him and he talked me through the contractions, sangs songs with me, and gave me a father’s blessing over the phone.

Two of my strongest memories: Dad holding C–his first grandchild–for the first time. A few weeks later, me holding C cradled in the crook of one arm, and grasping Dad’s hand with the other. Watching both of them breathing. C’s barely audible breath sweet against my cheek. Dad choking, gasping for air. During a long lonely night.

toes & tofu

Ok, this article about DNA and The Book of Mormon was front page LATimes today. A part of me is tempted to address this article and its relevance to the Mo church & culture.

But the other part of me is strongly resisting that urge. Instead I will tell you that I have a really bad cut on my middle toe that’s infected and oozy. I’ll spare you the picture and just let you imagine it. Not a pretty sight. When you’ve got so few toes to start with, even the tiniest cut on one of them hurts really bad.

And I’ll also tell you that I just ate a block of marinated tofu. Plain, cold, tofu. Yum. Yay for companies that make protein so palatable and digestible.

So by juxtaposing my comments about toesores and tofu I am in no way saying that the Lamanite DNA problem is anything like my sore toe–that will fester for awhile and eventually heal after I pour lots of apologetics (I mean hydrogen peroxide) on it. Nor am I saying that reading the Book of Mormon is much more palatable when it is processed into bite-size flavored curds.
🙂

minerva

Thinking about Minerva Teichert today. She’s got to be one of my all-time favorite artists (LDS or otherwise). She’s also an inspiration in many other ways.

But the best part about Minerva is that this woman knew how to use RED!

grace

Reading this post by Brookewill gave me the kernel of an idea that I needed to complete a short piece that I’ve been trying to write about grace.

Grace is an almost foreign concept in the Mo world. Though we espouse a belief in both grace and works, the balance of doctrine and ritual weigh in on the side of works. So when a friend suggested that I write about a moment grace I was hard-pressed to do so. Though my favorite hymn is “Amazing Grace” (not in the Mormon hymnal, btw), I have rarely thought through the concept or tried to apply it to my own religious practice or belief.

So here’s my moment of “grace”:

When I was 12 I was boy-crazy.Sometimes I even kissed boys in the halls at school.Enjoying the power the promise of such kisses held.Imagining myself a winsome beauty.Relishing the whispers of girls who gossiped about such things.Knowing that I was the center of scandal.

When I was 13 and I was diagnosed with bone cancer, I started to feel guilty about my boy-craziness.When someone suggested that my cancer was God’s way of punishing me for kissing boys during my lunch hour, I believed them.I knew I was supposed to wait for such things until I was 16, or I was engaged to a good Mormon boy.Maybe God knew that only way to for me to ever end up worthy for the temple was to make me so sick that I no longer thought about boys.

Now, with the temple marriage behind me and more than twenty years since my diagnosis, I still wonder why I got cancer. But I recently gave up the belief that my cancer was God’s doing.He and I have talked about that.And I now know that it was as hard on him as it was on me.

exponent

For those of you interested in the Mo world, check out my inagural post on exponentblog.

I’ve been asked to be a bi-weekly columnist. I’m humbled by the request because I’m following in the footsteps of women who I’ve long admired for their tenacity, humor, and honesty.