Category Archives: photo

In plain sight


yellow spider, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I came across the wee little spider in this picture as I was snapping flower pics on the Alcott farm. He was so hard to see, as his color blended in perfectly with the yellow of the petals on the sunflower. But what a delight it was to capture his image on film. Charming!

On another note, I keep thinking about this post from Liz. What does is mean to be a cancer survivor with so much enthusiasm for life who finds no one to dance with? And what about those moments when you realize that your body, your disease make you unappealing or untouchable? And what about the Gilroy test–the true test of love:

“The Gilroy test is the one true metric of real love. So-named because my aunt once had a large orange cat who was the most beautiful cat in the world before he got kitty leukemia and started wasting away. I was kind of an oblivious twit when I was a teenager and must have made some unthinking remark because my aunt spent some time gently explaining to me that it’s very easy to think you love someone when they’re beautiful. But that the test of real love is whether you love them with the same intensity when they’re ugly.

“Everyone gets ugly from time to time,” she told me, stroking Gilroy.

This photo and Liz’s post evoke such a jumble of emotions for me, especially the connection between love and beauty. Can we only love what is beautiful? Or is true love the ability to see beauty in all things? I think the latter. My heart soars when I see how gorgeous my kids and my John and my flowers are. But they are beautiful to me because I already love them, not because they are inherently beautiful. Does that make sense?

I think our recognition of beauty is more about being aware and in tune with our surroundings than it is with seeing what’s inherently visually appealing. An example: as I rode my bike home from the library in the dark last night, everything was beautiful to me–the sliver of moon in the sky, the taste and smell of the humid air, the taut feeling in my leg muscles as I pedaled home, and the joy of nearing the end of a well-spent day. In being completely there I felt so satisfied, so full of joy. That was beauty.

do you believe?


begonia, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

“It’s frightfully difficult to know much about the fairies, and almost the the only thing known for certain is that there are fairies wherever there are children. Long ago children were forbidden the Gardens, and at that time there was not a fairy in the place ; then the children were admitted, and the fairies came trooping in that very evening, they can’t resist following the children, but you seldom see them, partly because they live in the daytime behind the railings, where you are not allowed to go, and also partly because they are so cunning. They are not a bit cunning after Lock-out, but until Lock-out, my word !”

Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens. London, Hodder & Stoughton, 1906.
Note: I copied this quotation from this delightful post at Le Fumoir…

There is a magical time in my garden each night as the sun sets behind the hills and the solar lights along my main pathway start to twinkle. It’s a time of day that I generally find myself chatting with friends rather than gardening. It’s a time for contemplation and not for work. 🙂

So in the gloaming a few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend and her young daughter and when the lights came on, I mentioned that it was now “fairy time” in the garden. Such times remind me of when my kids were littler and the joy they had in finding all of the nooks & crannies of the garden where the ‘fairies’ lived. Oddly, though, I don’t think my kids really believed in fairies. It was more of a game for us….a way of acknowledging the magic and creativity of the garden. At least that’s what I tell myself now.

I didn’t foster my children’s belief in Santa or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Yes, the kids would get some money under their pillow after they lost a tooth, but it was more of a ritual than a practice in deception. And at Christmastime I often put gifts under the tree with only a “To” on the tag and no “From.” Sometimes the kids said this meant these gifts were from Santa. I don’t think I purposefully encouraged this belief, but it was just there given the cultural milieu in which they were raised. And at Easter we often gave little treats and hid colored eggs, but the Easter Bunny part of the holiday was just an excuse for a little fun, much as in the dress-up part of Halloween.

So now I wonder why I still speak of fairies? Why did that comment so easily pop out of my mouth at dusk? Why do I feel the need to linger and relish the transition from night to day, the “fairytime,” in my garden?

I believe it’s because I use the image of the ‘fairy’ as a kind of cultural shorthand. The notion of little sprites darting around in the plants expresses my feelings about the mystical presence of my garden: the flowers that spring up in unintended spaces, the persistence of some plants against all odds, the continued ‘unexpected’ of each visit to my “Secret Garden” space.

Just as I still enjoy myths and fairytales and ripping-good yarns, I still speak of fairies. I think I still believe in them, too. Not of the Disney/ Tinkerbell variety, but as embodiments of the healing, enlivening energy that surrounds my flowers & plants.

What about you? Do you believe in fairies?

Little Women


rudebeckia at Alcott’s, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

One of my favorite visits was to the Orchard House in Concord, the home where the Alcotts lived during the era depicted in Little Women.

The guide told many charming stories about the family and major funding has restored the house to its former glory. The best part were the paintings all over the walls done by the artistic sister, May (or Amy). I especially loved the little angelic doodles around the window frames in her bedroom.

Can I just say how much I wanted to be Jo when I was growing up? I’m just sure I would’ve cut my hair to feed the family and would’ve been as headstrong and would’ve married Prof Bhaer. Did you feel this, too, when you first read Little Women?

I took the photo above the small flower garden in front of the house. In the guidebook it explains that the garden around the house was primarily fruits & veggies back in the day, but now it’s all flowers. Though I loved the flowers, I think I liked Thoreau’s vegetable garden at the Emerson/Hawthorne house much better. But more on that garden later….

“If in Emerson’s study perpetual twilight reigns,” wrote a visitor to Orchard House in 1874,” in Alcott’s it is always noon. The great sun shines in it all day, the great fireplace roars, and the warm crimson hangings temper the sunlight and reflect the firelight. Quaint mottoes and pictures hang on the walls.”

cemetery


o captain, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

A got a good cemetery fix while in Boston. Unfortunately, though, the lighting was never ideal for photos–either rainy & dark or too sunny. I do like how this one turned out, though, because of the filtered sunlight on the headstones behind the one in the foreground. It gives the photo somewhat of an ethereal quality, I think.

I Died For Beauty But Was Scarce

I died for beauty but was scarce
Adjusted in the tomb,
When one who died for truth was lain
In an adjoining room.

He questioned softly why I failed?
“For beauty,” I replied.
“And I for truth, the two are one;
We brethren are,” he said.

And so, as kinsmen met a night,
We talked between the rooms,
Until the moss had reached our lips,
And covered up our names.
~Emily Dickinson

starflower


starflower, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

From a set of photos that I snapped at an organic garden/farm in Concord.

All Things Live
All Things live;
The innermost thoughts
Of a [wo]man’s soul
Walk the highway
Of the Universe,
And are seen
By all the pilgrims,
Who have gone before.
~Opal Whiteley

if this is you…


Jana’s playground., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

If you are curled up in a pajama-clad ball on your cozy purple sofa, reliving the memories of the past week as you sift through photos and unpack your suitcase. All the while feeling so so tired, having gotten home at 3:30am Boston time and then back up again at 6:30am SoCal time to get the kiddoes off to school (note: though most of what I did was just redirecting their attention to their tasks as I sat on the LR floor and just enjoyed home and chatted with Mom about the week).

If this is you then you are marveling that a week can be so short and yet so long. That your life is forever altered from having walked the streets of history and having communed with such awesome friends. But at the same time knowing that the very most important moment of it all was when you walked into the kiddoes’ room and reached out and held their warm soft hands, hardly able to wait until they would wake up in the morning so you could see their smiles once again.

This photo by John shows me in tourist-mode: the camera like a prosthetic on my hand, reaching out to document all that I saw, such as in this moment in the Granary Burying Ground. I like the way my upper arm muscles are looking all strong in this photo 🙂

goin’ curly


The best view in the house., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Taking a break from the travelogue to tell you some recent news:

My hair is turning curly.

All of my life my hair has been poker straight. Like so straight that even with an 80s spiral perm it was just barely wavy. But just in the last month I’ve been noticing some slight curls at the ends of my hair. And on this trip I’ve had some soft ringlet curls around my face when I put up my ponytail (which, in fact is full of curls).

I don’t know what would cause formerly straight hair to change its mind and become curly. I haven’t added any chemicals to my hair and the effect doesn’t seem altered by changing shampoos or other hair products.

But I’m not complaining. No way. All my life I have coveted those with natural curls.

Lucky me 🙂

bright


hibiscus, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

My Labor Day was chock-full of labor (and HEAT–the hottest day so far this month!).

We are oh-so-close to being fully unpacked now. Today we learned that the track shelving that was going to store so much of our stuff was not meant to be–there were no wall studs anywhere near the only place we could hang it and drywall anchors just pulled right out as soon as shelves were laid on the tracks. Ah well. We’ve found places for nearly everything anyways. 🙂

When I put clean sheets on the bed today I replaced our typical white matlesse spread with a spread of pale peach silk (made from some remnants given to me by a friend awhile back). I am hoping that sleeping in silk will somehow make this hotter-than-hades night bearable….

Note: this hibiscus photo is from a hike up a hill (the only place to park my car!) in Laguna Beach last weekend. LB has the loveliest cottage gardens!! 🙂