hospital gowns make me feel vulnerable., originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Among the many remembrances of my cancer experience that I carry with me daily is the constant fear of my cancer returning. Though there is little chance that my bone cancer will recur, statistics show that childhood survivors of cancer have high incidence of other forms of cancer as adults. We seem especially prone to breast cancer. Which is why I get screened regularly despite having no family history of the disease.

So last week when I had two scans show up with something questionable, I started to get awfully nervous. I couldn’t decide if it was a good thing that I had an anniversary getaway planned already to get my “mind off of things” or if it was a bad thing, because it was so hard for me to relax.

On Friday afternoon I had more thorough diagnostic scans taken at UCI’s cancer center and I just received word that I’m clean.

Such a huge sigh of relief. Such a weight off my shoulders. Such a thing to celebrate.

hipstamtic me, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I crave a regular creative outlet. So even though my work has kept me incredibly busy lately, I still need a bit of space for “play.” The past few days that space has been filled with a bit of artsy photography with the Hispstamatic filter. I know it’s awfully trendy of me (it seems like everyone on twitter is Hipsta right now), but it’s been a great way to keep my creative juices flowing…

my garden ride, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Last night I got out my bike and went for a ride. It’s been a really long time since I’ve ridden, and I have good excuses for not riding: most of all, that my current prosthetic leg tends to come off after about half a mile of pedaling.

I only went about 1/3 of a mile when my chain locked on me. I had to walk the bike home. But I persisted–I riffled through John’s bike supplies and found some chain lube, which I applied liberally. Then I spun the wheels round and round until they stopped sticking. Then I got on and cautiously (just in case the chain froze again) went back and forth between my place and my garden. Then I wheeled up and down the nearby hill and did donuts in the parking lot.

I was pretty oblivious to anyone around me as I was biking in the dark. And I suppose I did look rather strange on my red tricycle in the dark, smiling from ear to ear. So when a car-full of college kids sang out to me as they drove slowly past me in the parking lot, I was rather startled at first. They intoned the slightly-altered chorus of a Queen song, “I want to ride your tricycle….” (btw, I do love me some Queen). I suppose they might’ve meant it rudely–after all I was quite an odd sight out there. But I took it as a compliment. 🙂

After I got home I realized that I haven’t really biked much at all since my surgery two years ago. My lower leg was burning a bit around my incision, which wasn’t an entirely-comfortable feeling. I suspect that there some scar tissue in there that’s getting a good stretch.

But it feels great to be back on three wheels again. I’ll be getting a tweak to my leg soon that will hopefully solve the falling-off problem, so I hope to be biking more often from here on out! 🙂

With the Yeoman Warders at the Tower of London, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Methinks that if GameBoy takes a pic with the Yeoman Warders when we’re in England next month, he might just be taller than they are 🙂

(Oh, how I miss my cuddly little boy, and oh how I adore the one who now looks down at his mom!)

peaches-in-the-making, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

My life has been full of unknowns this past few months. And then this past week, thing after thing has been falling into place–or at least reaching a point of certainty.

For example, we learned tonite that our apartment will not be among those that will be demolished this summer. We can breathe easier knowing that a move of our household is not imminent.

However, our Community Garden will be moved. This space that has nurtured student gardens since the 60s will never be the same in a new space.

So now I’m wondering if this will be the last year that I will see the blossoms on my Mother’s Day tree (gifted to me when Catgirl was a toddler)? I doubt the new Garden space will allow trees, so perhaps it can be moved to a home with a backyard that has a perfect spot for it…

chamomile, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

My garden is such a happening place right now! I’ve got tomatoes setting fruit, zucchinis bursting out in every direction, and my roses are still a-blooming! (oh and did I forget to mention BLACKBERRIES? I’ll probably have my first early next week. Yay!)

This chamomile is in a few random pots in a berm of flowers in the center of my garden. The red behind them are some crazy-prolific geraniums. If you ever want some geranium starts of your own, I am your gal!