woodland walk, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

This morning I had a flashback to when I paddled to Catalina earlier this year. Some friends said that they’d pick me up at the island airport and fly me home (yay, friends!). In order to make the connection to meet them at the airport that’s up on the highest point of the island, I caught the last shuttle of the day up there. As the driver dropped me off at the airport he looked at me like I was a bit crazy. Clouds were rolling in around us & he warned me that small planes might not be able to land. So there I was, exhausted from my 5 hour race and toting a bit of gear, my paddle, and a pair of crutches (in case my fake leg had come off & floated away in the ocean or something like that). If my friends couldn’t land, I’d be sleeping on a bench (assuming that they’d let me do that). But I just figured it would work out. And it did–a gap in the clouds opening up just long enough for Graham to land and for us to be on our way home. And how thrilling that was!

So this morning I had another moment where I had that same sort of feeling, where I had to surrender the outcome of the situation to the universe. And hoping that if worse came to worse, I could probably find some kindly soul to lend a hand.

I feel like that’s an important lesson for me to learn–that I can’t always control the variables of my life, nor should I always try to do so. I just need to make my best effort and then let life happen without fretting too much about the worst-case-scenario.

What lessons has your life taught you lately?

persimmon, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Lately, I’ve been eating orange: persimmons, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin. Yum!

What colors are you enjoying today?

poppy love…. #4 — squaRED, originally uploaded by onkel_wart.

The Box, by John Denver

Once upon a time in the land of Hushabye
Around about the wondrous days of yore
They came across a sort of box
Bound up with chains and locked with locks
And labeled “Kindly Do Not Touch, it’s war”

A decree was issued round about
And all with a flourish and a shout
And a gaily colored mascot tripping lightly on before
“don”t fiddle with this deadly box
“or break the chains or pick the locks
“And please, don’t ever play about with war”

Well the children understood
children happen to be good
they were just as good around the time of yore
they didn’t try to pick the locks
or break in to that deadly box
they never tried to play about with war

Mommies didn’t either
sisters, aunts, grannies neither, cuz
They were quiet, sweet and pretty in those wondrous days of yore
Well..very much the same as now
Not the ones to blame somehow
for opening up that deadly box of war.

But someone did,
Someone battered in the lid
and spilled the insides out across the floor
A sort of bouncy bumpy ball, made up of guns and flags and all the tears and horror and the death, that goes with war.

It bounced right out and went bashing all about
And bumping into everything in store
and what was sad and most unfair
Is that it didn’t really seem to care much who it bumped
Or why, or what, or for.

It bumped the children mainly
And I’ll tell you this quite plainly
It bumps them every day and more, and more
And leaves them dead and burned and dying
Thousands of them sick and crying
‘Cuz when it bumps
it’s really very sore

Now there’s a way to stop the ball
it isn’t difficult at all
all it takes is wisdom
I’m absolutely sure that
We can get the ball back in the box
And bind the chains
And lock the locks
no one seems to want to save the children any more

Well that’s the way it all appears
‘Cuz it’s been bouncing round for years and years
in spite of all the wisdom whiz since those wondrous days of yore
in the time they came across the box
bound up with chains and locked with locks
and labeled “Kindly do not touch, “It’s War”

San Gabriel mission, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

It’s one of those days when what I really need is a big dose of blue. With a dash of purple and green, too. 🙂

Rainbow and fog, originally uploaded by Tor Håkon.

I went out canoeing this morning for the first time time in too long. There was a thick marine fog layer all around Newport so paddling out of the harbor was a bit surreal and even somewhat scary. I went out on a 2-man canoe with a teammate and we were joined along the way with team members in one-man outrigger canoes.

The two of us had never been out on the open ocean in such a small boat before. Especially given the somewhat choppy water and the lack of visibility (we were guessing that it ranged from 20-40 yards depending on how the mist was shifting around), we were wary of heading out past the harbor. Our concerns ranged from whether large boats could see us, to whether we could find our way back to the harbor once we were out on the ocean. But the foghorn on the end of the jetty was blaring loudly and the OC Sheriffs’ boat was nearby looking out for those who might need aid. So we went for it.

We aimed for the bell buoy that sits about 1/4 mi out from the jetty (following its clanging sound and the bellowing of the sea lions that recline around its base) and kept paddling until we could see it emerging from the mist. Then after turning around and realizing that the shore was gone, we paddled back by watching where larger boats were emerging through the fog. When we were about halfway there we sighted the arc of a full rainbow off to our left hand side, noting that the end of the rainbow was sitting right in the harbor mouth. We followed it in and made it back safely. I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun chasing a rainbow!

All in all, we paddled about 8-9 miles. It was such a great feeling to pull in to shore having worked so hard out there! What made it even a bit better was getting an award (a gorgeous handcrafted ceramic tile) for being an “inspirational” novice paddler this past season. Sometimes the thrill of finding a sport that I love so much still seems too much to be true. And every time I get out on the water I realize how fortunate I am to be a part of this sport & the IMUA family. Everyone has been incredibly patient with me as I’ve been learning and growing stronger this past year! It’s a bit like following that rainbow back into the harbor–I just know there’s more magic that lies ahead if I just stay on course and keep paddling. 🙂

Cape Cod, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

“The soul is a process, not a thing: therefore you cannot put it in a box (or a book) and close the lid. It will crawl out and keep changing…I keep trying to recapture myself at different periods of my life and it is impossible because even as I write, I change. Both the passage of time and the process of writing change me. And though I try to skewer bits of reality with the point of my pen, inevitably memory fails me, words fail me, and the picture is fragmentary and false. Worse still, this falsehood will be seen by the reader as the literal truth and only I will realize how many discrepancies and holes and sins of omission I have committed, how many tattered fragments masquerade as the tapestry entire.”
~Erica Jong, How to Save Your Own Life

Cape Cod rose in the morning with dew, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

When I was a young girl I had a diary that said, on the front cover:
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life…”

And today, I am truly feeling that way.

brooke likes peaches for breakfast, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Spent today hanging out with new & old friends in New Haven. Enjoyed a charming used bookshop, a lunch of split pea soup & a mozzarella sandwich, the laughter of small children, visiting Prof. Williams’ new office, and one more pass in front of the Skull & Bones club (creepy). Oh, and that spontaneous $1 brownie was well-worth it, too, even if it did result in much spillage of spicy cocoa powder…

I wish (oh how I wish) that Irvine had such groovy used bookstores(!). And I wish (oh how I wish) that geography didn’t separate me from dear friends so frequently…

backfloat, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Accomplished one more thing on my bucket list today. Swimming in Walden Pond. Joy!

giantess on Cape Cod, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

From Clare Leighton’s “Magic of the Flats” in Where Land Meets Sea:

The flats hold a subtle, rather than an obvious, beauty. It is the beauty of uncountable gradations of tone and hue, of the sheen and polish of exposed wet sand at low water. It is a world of reflections upon wet sand at low water. It is a world of reflections upon the wet sand from the slanted light of the morning sky.

There is a sense of vastness on such a morning. This stretch of mud and sand, merging imperceptibly in the far distance into remote water, seems to extend into eternity. In such a light, time and space become intermingled; we can no longer distinguish one from the other.

But it is not only the muted, opalescent coloring of the wet sand, shimmering and glinting upon the bed of the withdrawn ocean that holds such magic. There are uncountable variations of form here, too. For this is the whole earth in microcosm, with Lilliputian valleys and hills, gorges and plateaux. It might be said to be a child’s world, everything within grasp of the hand, the range of the eye.

I suspect that the folks here in Cape Cod think I’m a little dotty, wandering around with camera in hand to capture all the amazing colors and textures of this place…