Category Archives: women

feminism 101

So I’m taking a Women’s Studies class this quarter, which I really need. For too long I’ve been skirting around the edge of Feminist Theory, without ever diving in.

So today I read my first article, “Toward a Woman-Centered University,” by Adrienne Rich in 1973. I’ll share a few portions of the article that resonated with me, though I wish I could share all as I find it highly relevant to my daily life as a mother-academic. This article builds on Virginia Woolf’s notion of “A Room of Her Own” and “Three Guineas” to propose a model for a woman-friendly college. I would add that the changes that Rich proposes would be more human-friendly and parent-friendly (not just for women, IMO).

It is difficult to imagine, unless one has lived it, the personal division, endless improvising, and creative and intellectual holding back that for most women accompany the attempt to combine the emotional and physical demands of parenthood and the challenges of work.

As I write this I am sitting in the midst of laundry that needs folding, dishes that need washing, and 2 kids who are working on a rock-polishing project. While I love my life and I am thrilled by the creative tensions that occur in the process of ‘improvising’ my life, it is so not easy and sometimes I wonder if I am wasting my academic pursuits because I can’t devote full-time attention to them.

Later in her article she quotes Susan Sontag (another favorite author of mine):
The first responsibility of a ‘liberated’ woman is to lead the fullest, freest, and most imaginative life she can. The second responsibility is her solidarity with other women. She may live and work and make love with men. But she has no right to represent her situation as simpler, or less suspect, or less full of compromises than it really is. Her good relations with men must not be bought at the price of betraying her sisters.

Wow, there is a lot of meat in the quotation. I love the challenge that Sontag proposes–of living life as fully and imaginatively as possible. Yes, I have taken up that gauntlet. I’m not sure, though, that I have been completely honest about the challenges and compromises that I face in my academic path. Perhaps this is because I don’t discuss my academic path much at all on my blog? Perhaps it is just too raw? Perhaps my experience doesn’t involve such grand compromises because earlier women have paved the path for me to follow? I’ll continue to ruminate on these questions as I approach my later readings.

for she who suffers

From a recent Women for Women flyer:

~80% of all refugees and displaced persons globally are women and children

~Rape is used as a tool of genocide and weapon of war: 20K Bosnian women raped during the Balkan War; 500K Rwandese women raped during the ’94 genocide; 100K+ of Congolese women raped in the DRC war

~70% of the world’s 1.3 billion poor are women

~90% of today’s war casualties are civilians, 75% of whom are women and children.

These are each shocking statistics. As I sit here reading through each one and trying to wrap my head around the suffering contained in these few lines I am completely humbled by my own good fortune, and at the same time I am ANGRY that this is my world, our world, in which this is happening.

On the advice of TanyaSue, last week I read Nectar in a Sieveand I thought a lot about the protagonist, Rukmani, and the vicissitudes of economic uncertainty in India that routinely left her and her children with only a handful of rice to eat each day. She watched family members die from malnutrition as she struggled to eke out a quiet life under intolerably harsh circumstances.

This book made me question: at what price do I enjoy this warm apartment that I sit in as I type on my laptop, pantry cupboards full, nearly every modern convenience at my fingertips. What right do I have to live in such privilege?

Awhile back I read of a young man about my age who decided to live as simply as possible, that he could give more of his money to those that suffer. He had only two sets of clothing. He slept on a mat on the floor with a thin blanket. He gave away all of his possessions except for those necessary in his nonprofit work.

What do you think? Are you tempted to abandon your comforts for the sake of another?

criticism

Yesterday I found myself in two different settings where the LDS Church was criticized.

The first was a graduate seminar. We were discussing Laurel Ulrich’s A Midwife’s Tale. Both the professor and several class members questioned Ulrich’s objectivity as a historian because of her Mormonism. There were critical comments about polygamy, patriarchy, and Mormon racism. Because of recent changes in my own religious identity, I found it difficult to speak up and defend the LDS Church. However, I did describe my unabashed admiration for Laurel and her work, but I didn’t address the critique of Mormonism.

Late yesterday evening I was at my AROOM book group when several of the women were bashing LDS patriarchy. For whatever reason, this really hurt my feelings. I wanted to tell those who were speaking to stop. But I didn’t. In hindsight I feel like I should have said something, but I’m not even sure what that something is/was.

Oddly, now that I’m out of the Mo church I find myself reluctant to criticize it. Not that I don’t see its faults, but I’m so happy to finally be able to let go of the anger I felt as a Mormon, that it’s hard for me to find myself in the midst of the criticism and not feel dragged down by it–as if it is disrupting my current joy.

real women

My netflix tonight was “Real Women Have Curves.” It’s taken me way too long to watch this film. And, of course, the best scene is the one in the factory where the women are competing for the most curves, the most ‘cellulite.’

It reminds me of this now-popular blog that features photos of the bodies of real mothers. Though my stretch marks have almost completely faded in the last 10 years, I can still feel their striations as I run my hands over my lower belly. They are scars to be proud of, the physical sacrifice for my two babies that’s been well-worth every mark they left on my flesh.

[Note: but I’m still not brave enough to share any photos of my current belly (my least favorite part of my body). And, unfortunately, I have no such photos from my pregnancies, either–I think Demi Moore hadn’t yet broken the belly barrier back when I was pregnant]

why I blog

I’m preparing to speak about Mormon feminist blogging in a few weeks. So as I’ve been mulling over various thoughts, I thought I’d make a list of the top 10 reasons why I blog….

1)For reflection. Each time I sit at my computer to write a post, I reflect on my life and cull the gems that I feel are worth sharing. This affords the opportunity to recall joy, blessings, frustrations. I like these moments of examination, they offer great insight.
2)For FUN. Often, blogging is play for me. I take an experience and try to render it in text. I experiment with phrasing, punctuation and pauses. I attempt to express humor and pathos.
3)To tell it like it is. I like having the uninterrupted space to tell my stories. No one us cutting me off mid-sentence or censoring my words. It’s probably the narcissist in me that enjoys the blog as both soapbox and pedestal.
4)To speak the unspeakable. On my blog I’ve often discussed my disability. This is a fairly taboo subject in mainstream culture. It’s empowering to me to tell the stories of my different body without framing them in terms of an inspirational or pity-full narrative. Yet, ironically, it is the parts of my life that are the most visible (my religious practice, my academic pursuits) that I discuss least often. I’m not yet sure why that is. (more on this in #10)
5)To share pictures. I’ve just started really enjoying photography. I know our camera sucks and my photos are amateur-ish, but they bring me great joy. I love sharing my ‘lens’ with you.
6)For community. Several of you, dear readers, know me only through my blog. Others of you are old familiar friends who like to continue to keep in touch through cyberspace. I cherish my virtual neighborhood. Your blogs and emails nourish me, your thoughts buoy me, and your comments affirm, challenge, provoke and validate my musings.
7)For memory. What joy it is to scroll through my blog history and remember the fun things I’ve done!
8)Because I’m a geek. Hmmmm….yes, I spend a good chunk of my day sitting at my laptop writing emails and composing blogposts. ‘nuff said.
9)To mimic John. I’m not really the jealous type, but I saw all the benefits that he’s gotten from blogging through the years, and I wanted in on it, too!
10)To be vulnerable. Though the personal essays and other opportunities I’ve had to share the intimate parts of my life over the past 10 years, I have often been afraid. I’ve been afraid to tell the truth as I see it, I’ve been afraid of offending, I’ve even been afraid of ‘discipline.’* But there is something so empowering about laying out truth bare. My truth-telling brings me closer to others, creates bonds with strangers, allows an intimacy that is both frightening and exhilarating.

*I suspect that the reason I feel reticent to discuss school and church are because of fear of backlash. Within academia there’s a pretty high barrier to becoming personal and vulnerable. The LDS church has a history is censuring its more outspoken members, especially feminist women. So far, no one in the Mormon ‘Bloggernacle’ has been disciplined by church authorities for what they’ve written on their blogs, yet I am still wary. I love the freedom of the LDS community on the Net. I don’t want to see that change.

suitcase


Imagine an attic of an old mental asylum, filled with the trunks and suitcases of the now-deceased patients. Then imagine that the suitcases are found and the contents are documented to tell the stories of their former owners. Amazing stuff.
My favorite story is Madeline’s.

what i learned from city council

[Note: coming soon will be a picture of E w/our local mayor–as soon as I find the cardreader for my dig camera]
–you’re supposed to wear black to City Council meetings. Black suits. with a button down shirt for men and pastel blouse for women (unless you’re Christina Shea, then you wear a pale green suit). me, I was really glad I had changed out of my jeans and t-shirt and was at least wearing the requisite black pants.
–not saying the pledge of allegiance feels weirder there.
–the mayor has her own on-call photographer to take PR shots w/schoolchildren being recognized at the beginning of the meeting
–when E is in front of a large audience, she completely freezes…with a cute, rather lopsided grin on her face
–E’s award-winning drawing wasn’t her most artistic creation. rather, it fit the event theme better than other submissions–a lesson E learned well in the PTA Reflections contest, too.

ahhhh, cute


A group of LDS women from Australia have been sewing wool sweaters for penguins. These sweaters aid in the survival of the birds after oil spills. Read more here.
Glad to know that their knitting skills are being put to good use 🙂