Author Archives: janaremy@gmail.com

if you’re afraid of loneliness, don’t travel

The wish to travel seems to me characteristically human: the desire to move, to satisfy your curiosity or ease your fears, to change the circumstances of your life, to be a stranger, to make a friend, to experience an exotic landscape, to risk the unknown, to bear witness to the consequences, tragic or comic, of people possessed by the narcissism of minor differences. Chekhov said, “If you’re afraid of loneliness, don’t marry.” I would say, if you’re afraid of loneliness, don’t travel. The literature of travel shows the effects of solitude, sometimes mournful, more often enriching, now and then unexpectedly spiritual.
~Paul Theroux

Photo of one of my all-time favorite trips to Canterbury, England. Such an important journey for my pilgrim soul.

a fool’s paradise

We all know how we can be turned around by a magic place; that’s why we travel, often. And yet we all know, too, that the change cannot be guaranteed. Travel is a fool’s paradise, Emerson reminded us, if we think that we can find anything far off that we could not find at home. The person who steps out into the silent emptiness of Easter Island is, alas, too often the same person who got onto the plane the day before at Heathrow, red-faced and in a rage.

Yet still the hope persists and sends us out onto the road: certain places can so shock or humble us that they take us to places inside ourselves, of terror or wonder or the confounding mixture of them both, that we never see amidst the hourly distractions and clutter of home. They slap us awake, and into a recognition of who we might be in our deepest moments. I will never forget walking out onto the terrace of my broken guest-house in Lhasa, in 1985, and seeing the Potala Palace above what was then just a cluster of traditional whitewashed Tibetan houses, its thousand windows seeming to watch over us. I will never forget, too, visiting the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem two years ago and feeling, whether I wanted to or not, all the prayers, hopes and complications that people had brought to it. The place is as dark, irregular and everyday as the fights it houses — as worldly and human as the Potala seems the opposite — and yet the very fact that so many millions have come for centuries to pray and sob among its flickering candles ensures that many more will do so, even if, like me, they’re not Christian or Buddhist or anything.”
~From Pico Iyer

Photo from my trip to China in 2005–the first time I traveled sans spouse and children. And, such an important journey for me…

francophilia & future dreams

Recently I told a friend the story of the print that hangs on my bedroom wall.  It’s a Mary Cassatt, called “Summertime,” and I purchased the print in the spring of 1987.  How do I remember that date so well?  Because I’d just turned 16 and attended a local painting exhibit with a boyfriend–my first real ‘date.’  And the first time I remember seeing art hanging in a gallery.  I saw my first Titian and my first Rembrandt, and the accompanying music was beautiful.  Sort of as if I was seeing the world in a new way, to see how painters viewed it.  So my mother bought the print for me and framed it and it’s hung in my home ever since.

Cassatt’s painting resonated with me at some level because of the water–nearly every art-print that I’ve ever bought has a lake/ocean/canal theme.  But it also meant something important to me because of who she was–an American woman who traveled to Paris to study her craft.  She inspired me to reach higher than my own smallish ambitions and to dream of living abroad someday.  Although I’d already begun studying the French language by the time I encountered Cassatt, her work cemented my desire to learn that language and fostered an enduring passion for French culture, too.

When I first committed to returning to school ten years ago, it was no surprise that the first classes I took were to hone up my French.  And then I had the serendipity of finding an amazing French teacher, who understood the power of big dreams (and I just now googled Jody to find a link to her book and learned that she died in March.  Oh. Ouch. I’d long dreamed of getting ‘caught up’ with her again…).
She wrote, of her book:

“There was a theme that was being played out on a daily basis in the lives of practically every woman I knew (not to mention my own): how can a woman satisfy the demands of the creative will and still preserve an intimate life? All the women I interviewed were driven in one direction or another by the fierce imperative of the creative will – whether to art, literature, psychology, or music. And all of them refused to sacrifice the private dimension of their lives: all were unwilling to give up the intimate and sexual rewards of a woman’s life…These interviews document the joys and difficulties of being a productive human being in the shape of a woman.” 

Wear sunscreen…

Some advice from a friend for my upcoming trip: “Do something every day that scares you” (and, wear sunscreen)…. I especially think that sunscreen advice is going to come in handy as I try out my very first European beach! 😉

 

Picture of me above, taken on a happy afternoon while at the Annenberg Photography Space in Santa Monica.

tastes like chicken…

I’m generally not a huge fan of chicken, or fowl meat.  I think my distaste for it is because it’s typically dry and somewhat flavorless.  But that changed this weekend when some friends and I did some chicken-alchemy.  We used Clothilde’s “Salt-Crusted Chicken” recipe and it was just as amazing as she said it would be–so juicy and rich-tasting that I didn’t even recognize that it was chicken.  I loved, too, that we got to break open the ‘crust’ with a hammer–it’s just not often that you get to use a hammer in the kitchen.   🙂

And here’s Aubrey showing that she knows how to use a hammer:
IMG_4381

To go with the chicken Aubrey made salad, and I’m now a huge fan of her miso-salad dressing, which was 1TB each of tamari soy sauce, miso, nut butter, and maple syrup, 3/4 cup nut or olive oil, 1/3 cup cider vinegar, and three minced garlic cloves. Amazingly tasty:
IMG_4364

And for dessert, we tried a new homemade ice cream flavor: Salted Butter Caramel (it reminded me of dulce de leche, but just a bit saltier–yum!).  The only thing I would add to it next time might be one small square of ultra-dark chocolate (90% or higher):
IMG_4418

I’ll be making that chicken recipe again, for sure.  I might even use it every time I make chicken–it was easy and so worth it because of the flavor.  Perhaps you’d like to join me at chez Remy for Salt-Crusted Chicken sometime soon?

yes!



My friend Erin inaugurated The Summer of YES and I’m following suit.  The basic premise is to say YES to whatever opportunities the universe offers (a practice that I endorse wholeheartedly).  So in that spirit, I’m committing to doing two YES-type of things everyday while I’m traveling in Europe.  First of all, I’ll make sure to say YES to trying a new food at least once per day.  And second, I’ll say YES to doing one new thing everyday that I either haven’t done before, or that scares me.  This will not be the same kind of trip-to-Europe-with-the-family with a strict itinerary and a list of ‘must-do’ tourist attractions–although I’ve enjoyed each of those, this is going to be my first venture abroad sans family and sans touristy expectations!  Instead, I’m going to let my travels challenge and provoke me in new ways, and I’ll spend some time touring without a firm plan of where I’ll even end up that night and just see what adventures happen along the way…

It’s my intention to report daily on Facebook and on Twitter, and I’d love to have you follow along.  I’ll probably not be blogging much (I’m saying NO to bringing a laptop along and NO to being tethered to the Internet), but there’ll be a few posts in the queue so things don’t go totally dark around here while I’m gone…

but what I think of now…


A selection from:

Eve on Her Deathbed

Linda Pastan

In the end we are no more than our own stories:
mine a few brief passages in the Book,
no further trace of plot or dialogue.
But I once had a lover no one noticed
as he slipped through the pages, through
the lists of those begotten and begetting.
Does he remember our faltering younger selves,
the pleasures we took while Adam,
a good bureaucrat, busied himself
with naming things, even after Eden?
What scraps will our children remember of us
to whom our story is simple
and they themselves the heroes of it? …
But what I think of now,
in the final bitterness of age,
is the way the garden groomed itself
in the succulent air of summer—each flower
the essence of its own color; the way even
the serpent knew it had a part it had to play, if
there were to be a story at all.

for ambiguity


Those of you who enjoy traveling (or dreaming about traveling), might like to take a look at this interview with travel writer and globally-minded soul Pico Iyer. He says of travel:

Iyer: I think the main reason I travel, if I were to sum it up in one word, is for ambiguity. The reason I love travel is not just because it transports you in every sense, but because it confronts you with emotional and moral challenges that you would never have to confront at home. So I like going out in search of moral and emotional adventure which throws me back upon myself and forces me to reconsider my assumptions and the things I took for granted. It sends me back a different person.

I don’t know that I’ve had the kinds of emotional and moral challenges when I travel that Pico speaks of, but I do find that it makes me re-think who I am in my place in the world. And I feel more alive and present when I travel, because of the novelty of place and things–which I relish.

What about you, do you agree with Pico? And/or, what do you get out of traveling?

cliche

Let’s see, since I’m middle-aged and divorced and trying to make a new path for my life, I think that means it’s time to go to Italy, right?  I’ll be just like Diane Lane and Elizabeth Gilbert…and before you know it, I’ll not only have a villa, a foreign lover, and a new outlook on the world, but I’ll finally be the real me.  Don’t you think?