Category Archives: photo

a high price


alyssum, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

“I was born in ancient times at the end of the world in a patriarchal, Catholic and conservative family. No wonder that by age five I was a raging feminist, although the term had not reached Chile yet, so nobody knew what the heck was wrong with me. I would soon find out that there was a high price to pay for my freedom and for questioning the patriarchy, but I was happy to pay it because for every blow that I received I was able to deliver two.”
~Isabel Allende

In this vein, some of you may be interested in reading my SunstoneBlog post about attending a friend’s Bat Mitzvah ceremony and my “Leaving the Garden” story at MindOnFire.

so blue


bonny blue scarf (like the sky), originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

CatBonny brought me this alpaca shawl/scarf from her recent trip to Chile. I love how it is so blue, so soft, and so warm.

I am one lucky girl.

Even though I have so much blue in my wardrobe now, today I am wearing the groovy new red corduroy skirt that I scored on a recent goodwill run. Beside the skirt I found myself a shiny blue SIGG bottlefor 43 cents (woohoo). I have had SIGG-bottle envy for several months….

vanilla-ish


smells like vanilla, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

My New Year’s resolution: to fill my life with more vanilla. Seriously, it is my favorite scent (apart from the musky odor of John’s skin).

I’ve had several goes at growing heliotrope (pictured above) and each time I’ve either given it too much sun, too small a pot, or forgot to tell a garden-sitter to water it (they are surprisingly unobtrusive and thirsty little plants). This year, I commit to growing it successfully. Because life is so much fuller when one grows vanilla-scented flowers…

Oh, and now that the new year has begun, I will indulge and buy some of my very favorite vanilla almond tea with a bit of my Christmas gift money. I tried to go wholly fairtrade with my tea and it just hasn’t worked for me yet. I need my afternoon cup of comfort…

my feet, they’re all wet…


gettin’ my feet wet, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I can’t get my right foot wholly wet because I don’t want it’s computer-y parts to malfunction. But I can get the prosthetic footshell and nylons a bit soggy, as I’m doing here. Chasing the waves and enjoying the cold sand between my toes.

When I load photos of my fake foot to flickr (even one as innocuous as this one), I get hundreds of views. There’s a large community of amputee fetishists (called devotees) who are fascinated by such pics. Sometimes I am wary of the attention that such photos garner. Sometimes I just don’t care. Sometimes I am curious about the people who are so interested in me simply because of my missing limb. I suspect that some of my regular readers on this blog may be devotees and I’m okay with that. If you are interested in the whole me (and not just the missing bits) then that seems far less disconcerting than those who simply compile links to images of amputees.

While I don’t completely understand the fascination that devotees have with amputee women, I can recognize that I have my own odd proclivities. Some folks are just more interesting or attractive to me for whatever reason–it’s a personal aesthetic that seems beyond explanation.

But a part of me still feels a bit uncomfortable with the fact that a photo of my feet is of more interest than one of my face.

a gift for myself


me, in a blue scarf, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

So what I decided to give to myself for the Christmas season? My mornings.

Usually I get up, grumpy and tired, do what needs to be done to get the kids to school, settle in a drowsy lump on the couch and read my email. Then if I need to teach I’ll rush to get ready and head to campus. If not, I’ll read email and fiddle on the computer for a few hours until I’m totally embarrassed that I’m not yet showered and ready for the day.

I was letting my mornings happen to me instead of taking control of them. I decided, starting Dec 15th, that I would control my mornings better. I would spend time making a daily task list, I would indulge myself a bit in a tasty breakfast, get showered, and take a brisk brief walk to my garden before I open my computer. Most of all, I decided to avoid email and google reader until the late morning. So I can get more of my work done before seeing what everyone else in the world is up to.

In truth, none of my mornings has truly worked out this way. Two of the mornings this week I was in so much pain it was nearly impossible to do anything but just sit and moan a lot. But I did avoid email until at least 10 am. One of the mornings I had a phone interview with a colleague on the East Coast at 9 am. I had to get up early to prep for the interview and then had to check my email for updates beforehand. On yet another of the mornings I had to be at the Admin Bldg at 8 am to straighten out a funding snafu (grrr, 3 hours later it was finally settled).

But while none of the mornings have been my ideal, I have worked on making task list for each day and setting mini goals and priorities. I’ve spent less time on the computer and more time in morning meditation (healing meditation!). Tomorrow morning I will be up very early to go see my masseuse friend–she squeezed me into her schedule at a rather ungodly hour. So technically I won’t be following the morning guidelines that I set for myself. But really, is there a better way to start the day [to JW: note that I didn’t say that a massage was better than sex]?

Oh, and one more thing: guess what’s kept me warm and cozy each and every morning? See the scarf in the picture? 😉

arbor


sky 1, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

A pic of some climbing roses on an arbor at the Huntington Library. Taken in the rose garden today on my way to the Japanese Garden.

Stole into the grounds before they opened to the public this morning (I didn’t do anything too sneaky–“readers” are allowed access to the grounds whenever they want). Spent time in the Japanese garden all alone until a worker came to feed the koi fish. Felt a lot of peace and renewal there. It was just what I needed.

Isn’t the sky the most amazing color of blue!!
🙂

of hands, rings and love


berries in the hand, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

These were the berries that I snacked on in the garden yesterday afternoon. Yum! Berries from the garden have a taste that is so different from store-bought!

Today in Meeting I contemplated many things. Among the other thoughts that were swirling through my mind, I thought about my rings. You can see my wedding band in this photo. Inscribed around the band is the phrase vous et nul autre. I wear my wedding and engagement rings unconsciously. Rarely do I consider how they might shape others’ perceptions of me. They show that I am ‘taken.’ They are also evidence of my continued simplicity (no diamond, no fussiness). John wears the exact same rings on his hand, in just a few sizes larger than mine. This shows an equality between the two of us–a value that we’ve held since th first days of our relationship.

While these rings are evidence of my relationship with John, I don’t feel any more tied to him because I wear this jewelry. The gold bands are meaningless in and of themselves. I don’t feel ‘bound’ to them or to John because of them. I could lose them tomorrow and our bond would continue on without any change or disruption.

Sometimes, like my rings that are always on my finger even without my even thinking about it (because I never take them off), my marriage is a kind of unconscious thing–just there. Of late, though, it’s taken on a freshness. I’m not sure why. Each time I see John my heart just leaps. I am so in love with him. I have to fight the desire to be near him constantly–so we can both get our work done.

Even with having being together for nearly every moment of the holiday weekend I’m already feeling sad that tomorrow morning we both have to go to work and it’ll be hours before we are in each others’ arms again. I know it sounds silly, even juvenile, to adore someone so much. But I’m enjoying every minute of it….

🙂

pumpkinish pie


thoreau’s pumpkin, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

May your day and dinner be filled with good food and much joy!

I’ve been chopping squash to make this delicious-sounding recipe from “Food on the Food.”

Momentarily I’ll begin cooking my lumpy-bumpy Halloween pumpkin (the one I bought from my alma mater at the Farmer’s Market) for pumpkin pie! It’s been awhile since I’ve done pie and I’m looking forward to it. Yum!!

PS: Is there anyone else out there who likes to eat pie for breakfast on the day after? IMO, that’s truly the best part of Thanksgiving weekend!
🙂

tea for three


emergency tea, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

A few days ago, a bright red envelope arrived in the mail from Sara (lucky me!). Inside was her contribution to my emergency tea stash (oh my, and delicious French tea, too–the very best kind!).

So I couldn’t snap a photo of her gift until this morning because I haven’t had good light this weekend. I prepped the ‘shoot’ by setting the tea on a saucer along with my favorite teacup. But after just a few seconds, this happened along:
elly investigating my new tea
And then just a few seconds after EllyCat hopped down off the shelf, look who had to investigate:
IMG_4917
So I guess what I’m saying is, that between me, Elly and Toby, I doubt Sara’s tea will last long around here!
🙂