Category Archives: John

Just what I needed this morning….

Yah, a long week at our house. It’s finals week at UCI and we’ve had papers to grade and deadlines to meet and busy kids Oh, and I must tell you E was crowned with the title of ‘Master Artist’ this week by our elementary school district. Her duties will include a presentation before the school board and the city council. And she says it’s okay if her class didn’t kowtow to her (as we did when we learned of her new title), instead they clapped…

But back to this morning. I was busily getting dressed in our bedroom and John was headed into the shower. He was completely naked and singing along with the “Jesus Christ Superstar” songs that were playing over the speakers under our bed. He was gently swinging his hips, eyes half-closed as he sang the refrain from Simon the Zealot’s song:

Jesus I am with you.
Touch me, touch me, Jesus.
Jesus I am on your side.
Kiss me, kiss me, Jesus.

It was both touching and hilariously funny and even a little ridiculous. It was so John–all vulnerable and yet totally living in the moment, surrendering to the music. Totally un-selfconscious. Lovely….

mom, you probably don’t want to read this one…

This afternoon I tried a neighbor’s scooter (not the stand-on kind, but rather a wanna-be vespa-type scooter).

Poor John had to throw himself between me and a car in the parking lot when I panicked and accelerated. Straight forward. Into the rear end of a very nice pickup truck.

So we learned a few things from this experience:

1) When John is having to make a last-minute decision his first impulse is to throw his body at the problem–not thinking of the danger to himself. What a man!

2) When Jana is nervous (yes, I was visibly shaking), she accelerates. Brakes? WHAT BRAKES!!!!!?????

3) If Jana is going to own a scooter she is probably going to wear out the soles of her left shoe very quickly because of her Fred Flinstone style braking response.

4) I LOVED RIDING THE SCOOTER!

Most of my life is lived at a snail’s pace. I can’t run, jump, cavort or bike very well. I amble. But maybe, soon, I’ll be scooting. Wind whipping through my hair, imagining that I’m in Paris or Shanghai. Baguette, roses, and calico kitty in my back basket. Scarf flying at my neck. Bugs in my teeth because I’m grinning ear-to-ear…..

Note: a part of me is saying, “SCOOTER–what are you thinking??? Do you want to lose your other leg, too?” The other part of me is saying, Geez. it’s not any faster than a bicycle. And think of all the wear and tear you can save on the car…”

a saccharine experience


This afternoon our family took in a movie at the headquarters of Trinity Broadcast Network. It’s one of those things we’ve been intending to do for the last few years, every time we drive by their very ostentatious facility off the 405.

We timed out visit so we could see an hour-long movie about the apostle Paul in their “Virtual Reality Theater” (VRT). They warned us ahead of time not to be scared when our seats shook–that it was all a part of the ‘experience.’

Well, the VRT was loud, but not as loud as John was. Poor John had eaten a large bag of sugar-free gummy bears earlier in the afternoon. He didn’t know that you are only supposed to eat sugar-free, saccharine-sweetened gummies in moderation, because they can upset your stomach. Well, in John’s case it not only upset his stomach, but it turned his stomach into a growling beast. A louder-than-the-earthquake-when-Paul-gets-set-free-from-prison (and converts his guard,the guard’s wife, and sweet-faced children to Christianity) kind of growling beast.

Ok, I can’t say much more because John’s going to write the definitive post on the TBN experience. Let me just say that if you’re planning to tour this place for yourself, eat lots of very sugary gummies beforehand (not the sugar free kind). Or, perhaps you may lose the desire for gummies altogether after you’ve perused the adjacent Gold, Frankinsence & Myrrh giftshop and found books like these to inspire you.

sour

Note to self: next time John gets you your favorite super-sour gummies for Valentine’s Day Eve, squeal when he presents them to you. 🙂

However, do not proceed to eat said gummies while wearing a low-cut top and reading scholarly journal articles because sour gummy powder will then accumulate in your, um, cleavage while you are concentrating on the arguments of the very stimulating writings of 19th-century historians.

And then you’ll wake up in the middle of the night w/ cleavage sore and burning from said powder and you’ll have to teach the next day while trying to ignore that you want very much to scratch that particularly irritated area….

overheard

while jana is giving john a haircut…

Jana: “Oops.”
Jana: (holding razor clippers and approaching John’s neck): “Hold still. Don’t sneeze.” [Note: I haven’t told the story yet of John’s famous sneeze–the one where he gouged his head and had to skip a morning of work until the bleeding abated]
John: “I like it when you use the scissors on the sides instead of the razor. That way you don’t hurt my skin flaps.”
Jana: “Skin flaps?”
John: “You know, those folds of skin on my head above my ears.”
Jana: “Did you want sideburns?”
Jana: “Stand up and look at me so I can see if the sides of your head match.”
Jana: “I’m glad you like the tousled look.”
John: “Have you noticed how many fruit flies live on our back porch?”

under where?

This is what I’d be buying John for his birthday if he didn’t already have a drawer full of underdrawers already. Because every _real_ man needs to express his feminist leanings on his skivvies, right?

BTW, ya’ll can stop by MOF on Friday to wish the old man a Happy Thirty-Five!!

Aslan, or cats that I have loved

Last weekend we watched The Chronicles of Narnia. Added to the special thrill of seeing the movie as a family, was that we watched it with C’s whole school class and their families (7 of C’s classmates have sibs in E’s class–most of them girls). So though all the Remys were in the same theater, the kiddoes sat just about _as far as possible_ from their parents who snuggled together in the soft seats and tried to pretend that they were on a date totally by themselves (instead of being surrounded by elem school kids who called us Mr and Mrs Remy. blech).

Of course it was a lovely movie. The young actors who played Lucy, Susan, Edmund and Peter were all the more endearing for their British accents and lack of obvious orthodontic work. As always, the emotional tug that occurs when Aslan is sacrificed was a potent moment. I particularly like the way that Lucy and Susan embraced the dead lion’s body afterwards. It reminded me of my last embrace of my father’s body after he stopped breathing. A haunting flashback.

But why the story oh-so-powerful this time around was that I could relate to the Pevensie’s worship of Aslan in a new way. As the kids buried their hands in his mane, or as Aslan breathed life into the Witch’s cold statues, I was absorbed in recalling the tender feelings that I have for our two cats (and for all of catkind, pretty generally).

No doubt my feelings were magnified by the fact that just that morning I’d taken Ellycat to the vet for her shots. And, unfortunately, sweet ragdoll Elly turns into a cat-from-hell as she nears Northwood Animal Hospital. I’d taken her in safely ensconsed in her kennel (which they quickly plastered with signs saying “EXTREME CAUTION: Demon Kitty Aboard”), and left her to be ‘gassed’ so she could get her routine checkup, flea shot, and bath. I’d brought her home just before we left for the movie and watched her transformation from howling, hissing wet hyena to docile Ellycat. She was still a bit loopy from the meds when we left the house and was efficiently licking off the bath smell under our bed.

Elly is the only creature that comes between John and I. She nestles in the hollow between our bodies each night and purrs up a storm as we drift off to sleep. When I nap she snuggles with me, too, though generally on my lower back or legs. Though my love for cats is a relatively recent phenomenon, I now can’t imagine a life without them. They delight me. They calm me. For me, their affection is a symbol of my own deep-seated craving for unconditional love.

When I was younger I never thought much about why Lewis’ Savior was a lion–except, maybe because of the ‘king of the jungle’ thing. But now I know that Clive Staples must’ve known, and loved, cats. As I now do.

gift


Last night, as a Christmas present, John took me to see men in tights. Um,… I mean The Nutcracker.

The last time John and I watched ballet was a bit of a disaster, so he wanted to make it up to me. Very thoughtful of him! 🙂 The show was preceded by dinner in a lovely little French restaurant (who knew that an Irvine strip mall could have such charm). 🙂

Though I am still a bit miffed that John didn’t discreetly take a picture of Clara’s throne in fairyland for the Internet. It was so funny–surrounded by huge stuffed purple ‘sugarplums’, which looked more like huge plummy butts than any kind of fruity confection.

gentle

Yesterday I went to GameBoy’s parent-teacher conference. At his teacher’s request, GB accompanied me to the appointment. What followed was 20 minutes of praise for my super-amazing son.

GB truly is a wonderful human being. He’s humble, generous, thoughtful, smart, and full of delight. GameBoy never does anything halfway. He acts with his whole heart, body and mind. He doesn’t willfully break the rules, or lie, or deceive for personal gain. He is without guile.

I worry, sometimes, what will happen to this sweet child as he enters middle school, as he moves on with his life and encounters people who will take advantage of his sincerity [Though this has happened a few times already, like the naughty boys who taught him the middle finger, but didn’t tell him what the gesture _really_ meant. Then GameBoy demonstrated ‘the bird’ in front of his 1st grade class and got in trouble. silly boys.]

GameBoy definitely doesn’t take after me. He is his father’s son. Like GB, John is so honest that many people don’t know how to react to him, who is so compassionate [even I am often quite mystified by this sensitive creature that I married]. I found a poem a few years ago that always reminds me of John:

There are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who prey upon them with IBM eyes
And sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon.
There are men too gentle for a savage world
Who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween
And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who anoint them for burial with greedy claws
And murder them for a merchant’s profit and gain.
There are men too gentle for a corporate world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And pause to hear the distant whistle of a train.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who devour them with apetite and search
For other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry.
There are men too gentle for an accountant’s world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And search for beauty in the mystery of the sky.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who toss them like a lost and wounded dove
Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant’s world
Unless they have a gentle one to love.
-James Kavanaugh